Avoiding Reality
by CheekyBrunette
Summary: Sebastian wants to make Jeff perfect, while Nick thinks he already is... Unfortunately, Jeff's with the wrong guy. And when Nick says wrong? He means REALLY wrong. Warnings: Abusive Relationship
1. Prologue

**Well. I sort of want to start a new Niff, but I only finished half of what I claimed I would do to prepare for it… but I also realized that the other half I wanted to do wasn't going to happen. I wanted to end something in two chapters, but… no. So that will be updated Tuesday, I think…**

**Okay, sorry. I plan in my first AN usually. You all don't have to read it, so… okay. This is getting awkward. I'll just freaking start this Niff. **

_Nick took a deep breath, straightening his tie unnecessarily. He was going to do this. He was going to do this now before all the courage Blaine had talked into him talked itself out. He could do this, he could do this, he could do this…_

_Jeff Sterling was in perfect position, kicked back in one of the overstuffed library chairs. It wasn't exactly a secret that Nick was hopelessly head over heels for him… Well, it was supposed to be, but apparently his love for his roommate was a bit too obvious for that. Despite this, he wasn't exactly great at acting on his feelings. In fact, he nearly never did, so even though every Warbler had beat into his brain that Jeff "totally" liked him back, it had taken forever for him to work up enough nerve to do anything about it. _

_In fact, he still wasn't sure he had enough nerve. However, he had a song in his heart, a guitar in hand, and a nearly silent room to make sure he was heard, so Nick figured it was about time he made this. All he needed was for whoever was talking to Jeff to bugger off and walk away. _

_Eventually, the tall, meerkat-like boy stalked off, and Nick went to make his move but Jeff popped up and practically floated over to him_. Damn…_ "Nicky! Guess what! The new kid just asked me out on a date!" he yelped, as childish and painfully adorable as ever, even though he was breaking Nick's heart. Jeff practically jumped him, his hug was so vigorous, and he rushed out of the library. "I'm gonna go get ready. See you later!" The blond called behind him as he ran away. He looked excited… _

Double damn…

* * *

Nick was lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling and way deep in his thoughts. He had always been sort of an introvert, and that had nothing to do with his confidence or anything; he was just quiet. And sometimes he really wished he wasn't…

Because maybe if he wasn't so quiet, it would have been easy for him to tell Jeff to stop, to speak his mind, to give advice… Nick didn't think that Sebastian was a good guy, and he didn't… he didn't think that Jeff should be with him. Not just because he was in love with the blonde, but also because Sebastian just wasn't _nice_. However, Jeff seemed happy, and it's not like he –quiet, little Nicky- could trash their relationship by saying anything bad about it.

But that wasn't something Nick could understand: how Jeff could like Sebastian. He was mean. He was mean to him. Well… he was mean from what Nick could see. Sebastian was always calling Jeff out for stupid, _stupid_ stuff in front of everyone else, and… and it just didn't feel right. It wasn't exactly insulting, but Nick would figure it would get old fast if he was in Jeff's shoes…. And he spent a lot of time thinking about Jeff's shoes.

He didn't get how his roommate could laugh off everything Sebastian threw at him, when he could do so much better, Nick could _be_ so much better. He was nice to Jeff; he loved him right, even if he didn't see it. He'd been there, proving his worth for the past month, while Sebastian had only been making himself look worse.

And now it was well past midnight, and Jeff still wasn't home from his date with Sebastian because the latter had probably pressured him into going back to his single dorm to make out or something, so now Nick was stressed that he would force Jeff into doing something that he didn't want to because that's what he was _always_ doing, and Jeff just fought Sebastian off and let it go, and Nick didn't say anything, but –_shit-_ did he want to, and…

Okay. He had to calm down. Jeff was probably fine. Or, at least, that's what he told himself as he stared at the fan slowly circling on the ceiling. The room was dark, and Nick knew he should probably try to fall asleep, but something told him he wouldn't be able to until Jeff got back.

He waited another hour before he finally heard Jeff's key in the lock. The other boy stepped in quietly, toeing off his shoes, tearing away his blazer and flopping onto his bed. And that's when Nick heard it.

_Sniff_.

And it didn't just stop with one sniffle; many followed it. Nick could barely see the outline of his friend rubbing his face with his hands, and his chest constricted in response.

"Jeff?" he called out quietly, his voice a bit tight from worry because –holy crap, was Jeff _crying_? He sat up. "Are… Was your date okay?" he stumbled over the words, not wanting to be insensitive, but with the additional crying noises coming from Jeff's bed… yeah. He was pretty sure something was wrong, and he had to know. That was his job as a best friend… as a potential boyfriend… There was a rustling noise across the room.

"Yeah, it… it was fine, I just…" Jeff's voice sounded wet, and it was official. Jeff was in full out sob-mode. Nick thought it was weird because Jeff was always happy, even when it all went wrong, but here he was… upset… "I just messed up, and I need to fix it. Don't worry, it'll be fine." Nick frowned.

Jeff couldn't have messed up. It was probably him just failing to meet Sebastian's ridiculous expectations again. Things in Sebastian and Jeff's relationship… it was never Jeff's fault, but the blame always seemed to be on him, anyway. Nick's stomach flipped, but he fell back onto his bed anyway.

"Okay… hope things turn out alright for you guys…" he whispered, voice floating across the room.

Even though he really didn't want them to at all.

**Who's excited? I AM. **

**Okay, so now I have seven multi-chapters going… I'm declaring today Niff day, in which I update Niff and Niff alone. Again, who's excited? I AM!**


	2. It Has To Be Fine

**Haha, I'm so sorry, it's not even funny. In case you aren't reading "Love Taps" and didn't get the memo (and shameless self promotion here: It's a different kind of Jeff!Abuse story, so, you know, for all of you who could die happy reading a protective Nick fic…) I have a one word excuse for not updating.**

**FINALS.**

**So I'll be studying like a crazy person. Accumulative exams are not fun, and I wanna cry, cause I'm stupid, and I can't handle this… Okay. Writing. Writing is happy time.**

Nick wasn't happy.

And Jeff wasn't happy either.

He was completely sick of the blonde denying it. They shared a room together, and it's not like Nick was deaf; he could hear Jeff crying at night. He could see his puffy eyes and the tears on his cheeks whenever he came back from a date with Sebastian. Jeff was obviously _not_ "alright" and _not _"fine" as he seemed so content to tell him each day, and Nick was ready to tear his hair out.

He was _scared_. He was scared _for_ Jeff. Sebastian kept… he kept putting his nose into places where it didn't belong, and Jeff… Jeff was so clearly suffering. He was constantly wearing this worried expression on his face, especially when he was in the presence of Sebastian, and wasn't it supposed to be the opposite way around? Weren't boyfriends supposed to make you feel safe? Plus, worry wasn't a natural feeling for Jeff. The idea of it didn't sit right with Nick: worried Jeff… No. He couldn't stand to see things this way.

Nick _hated_ Sebastian. He _hated_ him. Didn't he understand that he was Jeff's first boyfriend? Didn't he know how perfect and innocent he was? Jeff… Jeff couldn't… Jeff wasn't going to get it. He didn't know what a good relationship was supposed to look like.

But Nick did.

And it clearly wasn't this. Relationships are supposed to be good, and from what Nick could tell, Jeff's and Sebastian's was everything but that. It made _his_ skin crawl to hear some of the things Sebastian would say to Jeff. None of their conversations conveyed any sort of love… just lust and anger, and none of it from his roommate's side.

Nick was thinking heavily about this before Warbler practice. The unfortunate pairing was sitting across from him, making Nick sweat. Sebastian repeatedly bit at Jeff's ear, kicking him a little in the shin whenever his best friend tried to duck away. Jeff looked uncomfortable, and Nick couldn't take it anymore. He peeled himself off the couch he had fallen into, and crossed the room.

"Jeff?" he interrupted their PDA brusquely. "I just realized I left my sneakers in your gym locker cause I lost my lock, remember? And I need them for track this afternoon. I don't want to make you late for hockey, so would you mind running with me to get them real fast? I don't know your combination." The way Jeff's face crumbled in relief broke Nick's heart. He would always be there for Jeff, even if he wasn't always there for him.

"Sure, Three! Let's go!" he exclaimed, far too excited sounding for a guy about to _stop_ spending time with his boyfriend. Ew. Boyfriend. That word never seemed to taste right when it was about Jeff and somebody other than himself. The taller boy grabbed his wrist and started pulling him out of the room, practically sprinting to the door. Nick ran with him, not slowing until he had realized that Jeff had dropped off behind him. He whirled around to see the blonde stopped only a couple feet from the door to the practice room. Jeff was biting his lower lip nervously, and Nick arched an eyebrow confused until the other boy's eyes met his own, more broken and scared than he had ever seen them. "Nicky…"

"Girls' bathroom?" he offered, trying to ignore the way his chest was constricting in favor of helping his best friend. Jeff nodded gratefully, and Nick took in how pale and thin he looked… How could someone older than him still look like such a little kid? Those huge green eyes…

"Yes, please," he answered, voice cracking a bit, and Nick hated how he didn't have to ask to know what was wrong. He laced fingers with the other boy, letting their arms stay completely connected, he was walking so close.

If there was one big benefit to boarding in an all boys school, aside from never having to worry about running out of something, it was the surplus of empty rooms to have real conversations in around the building. If your dorm was too far away, all you had to do was duck into a girls' bathroom. You know who used them on no-visitors days? No one. No one used the girls' bathroom during the week unless one of the teachers couldn't wait for a faculty one.

Nick led Jeff down a short hallways, pulled him into one of the more abandoned restrooms and sat him down on one of the very practical and very presentational waiting benches Dalton had stuck against the far wall, facing the sinks. He sat down cross-legged on the floor beneath him and grabbed onto his ankles. Jeff smiled weakly. Nick _always_ held his ankles when he was upset and neither of them could ever figure out _why_… That was just kind of his thing…

"So…" he started slowly, looking up at his oh-so-very blonde friend hopefully and maybe just the slightest bit expectantly. "Are we finally ready to _not_ be okay?" he asked, and Jeff's gaze fixed on the ceiling, but that was okay. Nick could wait. He had _been_ waiting.

"No…" Jeff said quietly, and Nick sighed.

"Then what are we doing here, Jeff?" The blonde boy refused to answer, and Nick was starting to get impatient, surprisingly. This wasn't fair, and… and it wasn't healthy. Jeff couldn't keep this up anymore. Nick wouldn't let him. "We're hiding from Sebastian, right?" Nick questioned, his voice taking on a slightly angry tone. He didn't care. "AKA: Your boyfriend? Doesn't that _not_ seem okay to you? When are you going to admit things aren't right?" Jeff flinched away from him slightly, his eyes shutting up against Nick's words, and he immediately felt guilty, he didn't want to be another enemy, but… but Jeff had to hear this… he had to…

"But they have to be, Nicky," he murmured, and Nick bit back his curiosity in order to be patient. He watched as Jeff took a minute to compose himself, blinking back a few tears and straightening out his person. "They have to be alright because… because things _never_ are, and… and… something has to go _right_ this time. I'm so sick of things going wrong."

Jeff had managed to keep his face expressionless, but his voice gave him away. Nick let his hand latch onto his roommate's. "What's gone wrong?" Jeff ran his nose along the back of his free hand. It was cute. Well, to Nick anyway…

"Everything," Jeff replied, voice cracking. He took a breath. "Nicky… Sebastian picked me, right? That means I'm special? At least to him?" Nick bit his lip. Shit… how do you answer that?

"Yeah, Jeff." Nick took a breath of his own, something heavy settling on his heart. "You're special."

Jeff's eyes only widened a little bit in response. He stayed still for a minute, unnerving Nick a little because –well- this was Jeff. He never stopped moving. A moment later, his eyes flickered up to meet Nick's, a smile fighting it's way onto Jeff's face. "So it'll be okay?" Nick squirmed.

"I hope so." Not.

Jeff beamed. "Good. Cause I still sometimes get those butterflies and stuff, and I don't want those to go away forever," he said, expression hopeful, and part of Nick honestly died. He couldn't do this… Not when there was so much wrong with whom Jeff was with…

"Right." He clapped his hands together. "Well, we should probably get back. Or get my shoes… or, you should just write your combo on my hand or something…" Nick suggested, grabbing the arm of his best friend to pull him up, but Jeff resisted.

"Or, you know… we could stay here. For a little longer." Nick huffed.

"Things aren't _okay_, Jeff."

"Yeah, but they _have_ to be."

**These have been short… I DON'T CARE! I'll write more words next time. **

**BTW, my birthday? Tomorrow! May 16****th****! If any of you would like to write or update, that's a really great reason to. Another great reason? It's Nick and Jeff. Let's be real.**


	3. Some Things and Some Times

**Okay, sorry for the slowness... I'll be real, I can get caught up in inspired rushes, but they leave me fast, and when I'm not inspired, chapters end up crappy, and then... yeah. I get MORE not inspired. **

**That and I have written this story from the COMPLETELY WRONG perspective, and it's really hard to write now... gah. So sorry for the low quality of this. You know how it is...**

The pair eventually made their way back to practice, and Nick was unfortunately forced to give up Jeff and allow him to fall into the arms of the awaiting Sebastian Smythe. Gross. Jeff smiled, like things had somehow managed to become miraculously better due to their impromptu escape to the girl's bathroom, and fended off Sebastian's immediate attempts to possess him as if he was just being cute and flirty like relationships like these always start. Nick glowered. He could see the determined look in Sebastian's eyes, even if Jeff couldn't.

Now would probably be a good time to mention a few things that Nick knew about Jeff.

First, he knew that Jeff wasn't a naturally guarded person. Like... okay, Jeff was a subject that Nick knew quite a bit about, but out of everything, this was the fact about Jeff that he understood the most completely. There were no secrets with Jeff. He came out of the bathroom after showers with his towel around his neck instead of his waist, and he told you way more than your probably ever wanted to know. Nick was used to hearing about everything from what Jeff had for lunch to just what he thought about the last physics lecture Mr. Pleasanton had graced them with. So it was exceptionally weird when his roommate started dodging details and keeping things quiet...

Second, Jeff was a terrible liar. Nick had only realized this recently, when Jeff had a reason to _start_ lying. Normally, Nick could take his word for everything cause he was so blatantly honest, but now things were a bit different. Jeff would duck his head, squirm, and stammer for an answer when asked a question. Nick figured all that time being truthful had left him completely unpracticed at lying.

Third, Jeff really, _really_ liked talking. Nick had always known and was completely thankful for it. He was a pretty quiet person... He hadn't asked questions until Jeff had given him a reason to. He didn't give out his opinions on things like Jeff did. He had them; he just didn't share... Nick stalked people on Twitter and Facebook, but didn't actually post anything on either. He felt like his thoughts were _his thoughts_ and the only person he really wanted to hear them was Jeff and only him, most of the time. Luckily, the taller boy was always there to fill his usual silence with his light-speed chatter and his endless things to discuss.

Jeff didn't have a lot to say anymore.

Nick really missed him. He missed Jeff. He was physically around, but his mind wasn't, and Nick really, really _missed_ him. He was spoiled by and for Jeff, what with being his roommate and all, so being without him hurt in a way it probably shouldn't when in a "just friends" relationship. Nick bet Sebastian didn't miss the old Jeff. He bet he liked this submissive one better.

Stuck in his thoughts, Nick's mouth barely opened as he sang his part for Sectionals. He had been stuck back in his "background singer" position as Sebastian ate up all the solos. He didn't mind, Nick wasn't really a "front and center" kind of guy, but it did bother him when he was forced to watch the older boy take his songs into ridiculously sexual directions and practically rape Jeff in front of the entire glee club. Nick was still clinging to the hope that maybe Jeff would figure out just how bad Sebastian was for him and dump his sorry ass. That would be nice..._  
_

Warblers practice ended sooner than later, and Nick was just about to leave when an annoyed-looking Wes grabbed his arm. "Warbler Nick, if you would be so kind as to meet with the council privately." Nick quickly glanced over to where Sebastian was dragging Jeff away and sighed.

"No problem."

Wes placed a chair for him in front of the head council's table and sat down in his usual spot. The room grew silent as the last of the slower-moving Warblers managed to make their way out. Nick took a seat, looking uncomfortably at the three boys in front of him. It was always weird to be on this side of the table... Wes, Thad, and David were some of his closest friends, but _Warbler_ Wes, and _Warbler_ Thad, and _Warbler_ David were his leaders and mentors and demanded the upmost respect. There was a distinct difference to how he carried himself with the trio in and out of the practice room, and it was unusual to see the stern looks on their normally carefree faces.

"You were barely singing today, Nick," David said, but his voice sounded more soft than accusing. Nick shrugged sheepishly. It was true; he _had_ barely been singing. Wes offered him a half smile, a sympathetic look taking over his face in a way he never allowed with his gavel in hand.

"You were also doing an awful lot of glowering in Sebastian and Jeff's direction," he said quietly, and Nick couldn't help but groan. It always came back to this...

"Look, I know you guys just want to help or whatever, but it just... it's never going to happen. Jeff and Seb are very happy together, and it's not like their just going to magically decide to break up for no reason," he said all in one breath impressively enough for a quiet boy like him. His explanation was met with three very unhappy frowns.

"Nick, I don't think you understand how much we also hate their relationship," Thad offered, and Wes nodded.

"Honestly, we're on the same page as you. They need to split up -preferably with Jeff dumping Sebastian; that kid needs to be taken down a couple pegs." Nick rolled his eyes, despite completely agreeing with the other boy, and twitched with the thoughts of the two of them together refreshed themselves in his mind. David cleared his throat across from him.

"Yeah... They... they aren't working. Jeff looks ridiculously unhappy, and it's seriously getting in the way of our performing ability..." David said, and Nick nodded. Of course. It always came back to the Warblers.

"Why are we even having this conversation?" he asked, a little flustered, "This is all stuff I already know." Because seriously? He knew this. Everyday he woke up to Jeff blow-drying his hair, and it absolutely _broke his heart _to know just who he was styling it for. He was the best friend, he was the roommate, he was the one with a crush, not Wes, not Thad, not David, so _why the hell_ were they talking to him about this?

"Because you need someone on your team," Wes answered, heading the conversation like he headed everything else, "And we'll do anything we can to help." Nick let this sink in with him, and his whole entire body felt like a sad smile.

"We can't just break them up. Not if they're happy."

"But they're not happy," David said. "Or, at least, Jeff isn't." Nick sighed again because he _knew _Jeff wasn't happy, but that didn't mean the other boy did, and it wasn't and would never be fair to make decisions that big for him. He felt something tug at his heart and something else sting at his eyes, and he looked to Wes hopefully.

"May I be excused?" he asked, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks, but he wasn't going to let them. Nick dealt with this much to much to cry about it now. Wes appeared to think heavily about his question for a minute before he finally nodded.

"I think it would be for the best," he replied, and Nick thanked him quickly before practically running out of the practice room, vaguely remembering that he had track but no shoes and that a certain blond roommate of his was probably being forced to skip hockey that day. He wanted Jeff... and that was probably the worst part about this whole situation.

Because the one person he wanted was the one person who could never come.

**I've been listening to a lot of upbeat emo music lately... It's been really awesome. Pandora somehow made that work for me... and it's fantastic. It's seriously inspiring music as I LIKE feeling depressed a lot of the time... Like, that whole FCMD thing, you know? So happy emo music. It's AWESOME. And it matches my writing mood perfectly.**

**And look at that! A whole 500 words longer than the last two chapters! YAY!**


	4. Printed

******Okay, so like... Literally what I want to write for this chapter could be done in two sentences, which means crap is going to have to get EMOTIONAL, thank you, and... okay. Let's just see how it goes...**

Nick had always been really good at running. It wasn't just natural talent, either; he was willing to do whatever his track coach told him to keep it up. He was always on some kind of crazy runner diet, always buying some weird new kind of knee-sock for compression's sake, and always training for a longer, harder distance or faster time. Nicked _liked_ running, and being good at it was always useful.

Because the Warbler's practice room was on the complete opposite side of the school from his dorm. And Nick really didn't want anyone to see him cry.

Marble floors and mahogany furniture blew past him, and Nick had never been more happy to be a looser because no one tried to stop and talk to him in the hall. He mounted the steps up to his unfortunately fourth floor dorm. He had just pushed the ridiculously heavy staircase door open when he heard loud knocking on someone's room.

"Come on, Jeff! Open up!"

That was Sebastian's voice. Nick felt his entire body still, and he paused for a second, not sure if he wanted to go out into the hallway if Sebastian was... well, whatever he was doing, Nick didn't know if he should intrude. In the end, he slowly pressed open the door and stepped out to see the mess that was going down on the fourth floor. Sebastian was standing outside of his and Jeff's dorm, naturally, a spare blazer and tie in his hand, and it didn't take a genius to figure out whose they were. Sebastian looked angry, and Nick didn't know whether to be worried or proud.

He chose worried.

"Seriously, Jeff, just open the door! Don't be like this!" the other boy said angrily, and Nick bit his lip. If Jeff was upset, this was a terrible way of dealing with him. He squirmed where he stood, and Sebastian seemed to take notice of him. "Yo. Nate -or whatever your name is- you share a room with Jeff, right?" Nick wanted to kill him. "Can you let me in?" _What, so you can not listen to Jeff some more and yell at him until you go finish whatever the hell this is in your dorm?_ Moments like these made Nick wish he was better at talking, so then maybe he could finally put Sebastian in his place.

"I don't think that would be for the best," Nick replied, instead, cursing how quiet he sounded. Sebastian glared at him and resumed knocking on the door to his dorm, and Nick pushed past, turning his key in the lock, and attempting to _just_ slip in, but Sebastian trampled him to get in. Sebastian immediately sought out Jeff, who had his knees curled up to his chest and was sitting on Nick's bed, oddly. A weird, scared expression took over Sebastian's face, and Nick realized that whatever happen had been _really_ bad.

"Look, Jeff, I... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that; you're right to be mad. But I..." And that's all it took for Jeff to nod his forgiveness. Sebastian smiled wide and kissed Jeff roughly on the lips -too hungry to be a make-up kiss- and let his hands run clumsily through Jeff's hair, completely ignoring the tears staining his boyfriend's cheeks. "Awesome. You won't regret this babe," he spoke against Jeff's mouth, the blonde still beneath him. "Here's your stuff," Sebastian said, tossing the extra blazer and tie on Jeff's bared chest -his dress-shirt unbuttoned- and standing up. "Later."

Sebastian left and Jeff choked on a sob. Nick stood in the middle of the room awkwardly because Jeff hadn't moved except for one shake of the head to take Sebastian back, and he didn't exactly know how to handle him. Tears were still streaming down Jeff's face, and Nick moved over to his dresser to pull out an unopened pack of pink tissues because pink was Jeff's favorite color. Nick wondered if Sebastian knew that, too... Probably not. Nick was Jeff's best friend and roommate, and he hadn't even known his name. He looked uncertainty at Jeff for a second before gathering up enough courage to dry the blonde's eyes for him, swiping hastily at his own because Jeff's tears had reminded him that he had been crying, too. "I'm really sorry, buddy." The smallest of smirks crept up on Jeff's face.

"It seems like you had a pretty bad day, too." His voice was small and broken, and Nick's heart wrenched. He tentatively took hold of Jeff's hand and couldn't fight a smile at the touch.

"Yeah, well... you know." And Jeff nodded because he _did_ know. He always knew just what Nick meant, even if it was in as few words as possible. Nick wondered it would be like to date him, if they were already so in sync like this. He was silent for a while, and so was Jeff. "Do... Do you wanna talk about it?" he asked cautiously because Jeff _hated_ being asked questions that made it hard for him to defend Sebastian.

"No, Nick."

"Jeff-"

"No." Nick bit his lip because he couldn't disagree with Jeff not talking to him about this _more._ Jeff rolled over and tears started falling down his face faster. Once, in and episode of Doctor Who, the Doctor said that "children cry because they want attention, but when they cry silently, it's because they just can't stop." Jeff couldn't seem to stop. Nick laid down next to him, still hand and hand, and stared up at the ceiling.

"I'm trying _really_ hard to support you guys, you know," he said absently, and Jeff didn't respond. He kept going. "It's just... you cry all the time now, Jeffie. I don't... I don't get why you think that this is a good thing, and I _know_," Nick took a breath and closed his eyes, "that I don't know him like you do, but... He just doesn't treat you right, Jeff. You always seem so _uncomfortable_ when you're with him, and that's just not how things are supposed to be. And then I come back here to see Sebastian begging for your forgiveness because he did something _wrong_, and... how am I supposed to be happy for you guys when _you're_ not even happy?" Jeff bit back a sob, and Nick rolled over, wrapping an arm around his waist and curling into his side.

"Who else would love me, Nick? I'm... I'm _nothing_. I'm not smart, or thin, or good-looking, and maybe that's not manly to admit or whatever, but I've never _been_ manly, which is probably just another thing to count bad for me... Who- Who w-would love m-m-m-" Jeff couldn't finish because he was crying too hard, and Nick just held him tighter. _I would._

"Someone better than Sebastian. I... Jeff, you're more than you think, okay?" Jeff continued to cry.

"Everything felt so _good_ this afternoon, too! I... He's supposed to love me, and I don't know what I'm doing _wrong_." And Nick had so many things to say. He wanted to tell Jeff he was perfect, and he wanted to show him that he wasn't the wrong one, and he wanted to share everything he's ever thought about him and for him to see that none of it was bad, and maybe he could be the one who wanted Jeff, because he was so much better for him than Sebastian ever could be, but the words were caught in his throat, and sometimes being quiet _sucked._

"It's not your fault, Jeff. Sebastian just doesn't know what he has." Jeff's chest rose and fell violently beneath Nick's head, which had somehow managed to find it's way onto his roommate. Whatever. His was his bed. Jeff would just have to get used to the cuddling or go to his own.

"Yes, he does," Jeff sobbed. "And that's why he does it."

And that's when Nick noticed the red hand-print on Jeff's cheek.

**Every time I write a chapter, I just get so overwhelmed at how much this story sucks. Like... whatever. I'm working on it. I think it's improving... **


	5. Schemed Solos

**Yuck. I hate having to bounce around like this from computer to computer. It's like… the least fun thing in the world. *Cries* I just want mine back. Is that so much to ask for? I didn't think it would be…**

**Sorry for the wait on this. And SUPER sorry for the wait on Love Taps. It's the final two chapters over there, and I like… Just can't bring myself to write them. *sobs* I DON'T WANT IT TO BE OVER! **

**Anyway. Let's do this.**

Nick was seriously starting to hate Warbler's practice, and –what with the constant elbows in the side from Trent to remind him to keep singing- it was apparent that everyone else was starting to take notice. Unfortunately, they also all knew why. It's not like Nick made it very hard to guess; he didn't do anything to hide his withering stares towards Sebastian as he bit at Jeff's neck. And it was honestly biting, too. Nick didn't understand why Sebastian had to turn everything into a show of just who was in charge in his _wrong_ relationship, but he did, and Nick figured that it must make Jeff feel like trash.

For once, Nick was glad that he was a quiet kid without a lot of friends because it gave him the time to learn all of his music before practice. Now he could watch Jeff and Sebastian and struggle with his inner turmoil _from_ watching them in peace while the rest of the Warblers fought to learn the more difficult parts of their harmonies. He couldn't focus on singing even if he tried. Just looking at Jeff… Was he the only one who saw how _unhappy_ he seemed all the time? Currently, Sebastian had Jeff seat belted down on his lap, arms locked _too_ tightly around his waist as his roommate tried to sing.

Nick hated this.

He didn't get why Jeff didn't break up with him. He understood that his friend wasn't confident in himself and didn't think anyone else could possibly want him, but… Really, that was just another thing that Nick didn't get. Jeff was perfect. His face was angelic, his body was lean and graceful, his hair was soft and tousled around when Nick breathed on it as they watched movies, his legs were long, and -whenever he held onto him- Nick couldn't bear the thought of him letting go, he gave great hugs, he was funny and vibrant, and his personality lured people in because how could you not want Jeffery Anthony Sterling to be a part of your life? It'd be impossible.

Filled with happy thoughts about just how beautiful his Jeff was, Nick almost missed it when Head Warbler Wes started addressing the room. He managed to tune in just in time, the older boy informing the glee club of the set list for Sectionals.

"So without further to do," Nick winced at how much of the other boy's speech he had missed, "Warbler Sebastian Smythe," Wes spat with a frown, "will _unfortunately_ be leading us with 'Love Drunk', Warbler Nick Duval will be singing 'King of Anything', and both Warbler Nick and Warbler Jeff Sterling will be performing 'Better Than Better Can Ever Be' together. Brilliant? Excellent. You're all dismissed," Wes closed with a final bang of his gavel, and Nick sweatdropped. No. No this set list was _not_ a good idea. He hadn't tried out for a solo this year for a _reason_. _Sebastian_ had them all covered, and there was no way the other boy would walk away from this not angry.

True to form, the second practice was dismissed Sebastian had practically thrown Jeff off of him and was up in the council's face. Nick, despite feeling undoubtedly haunted by the whole ordeal, walked over to the cast aside boy. He kicked at the ground, not sure what to say when Jeff looked so terrified. "Um… we don't have to do the song together if you don't want to. I mean… it's kind of mushy or whatever, and if you're worried about Sebastian…" The words hung heavy on Nick's shoulders. Jeff looked torn.

"I… I don't know. I have to go make sure he's okay," Jeff said almost timidly because everything Jeff said as of late was done with a sliver of fear. It had been a week since last practice, since he came back to find Sebastian outside of his room, since Jeff's cheek was so glaringly red… Nick had made out fingers. Sometimes, when Jeff's sleeves rode up just so, Nick thought he might be able to make out fingers on his wrists, too, but that might just be some sick kind of wishful thinking. He really, _really _wanted them to break up…

He watched Jeff struggled up from the couch and rushed over to his boyfriend. It physically hurt Nick to see how gentle and sweet the blonde was being with Sebastian while the other boy was never so soft with him. Jeff was loving, holding the hand of his boyfriend and whispering it'll-be-okays into his ear while Sebastian flipped out.

Nick suddenly felt anger pit in his stomach. Jeff just got the chance at a solo. Something he had auditioned for _seven times._ And as far as Nick knew, he hadn't even tried out for one so this was out of the blue. Sebastian should be celebrating with him not trying to claw his accomplishments away.

He hadn't even realized how angry he was getting until he was snatched away by two sets of hands.

* * *

Nick wasn't able to turn around to see who had taken him until his two kidnappers had finally managed to get him where they wanted to go. He whirled around, and… and… Well, Nick probably couldn't describe to you just how _un_surprised he was when he saw it was David and Thad. "I would have just come," he said, sitting down on one of the empty desks in the abandoned classroom. "I have a bunch to say to you guys."

"We know," came a voice from the back of the room, and Nick twisted to see Wes coming through the other door to the room. Wes's eyes moved from his to Thad's and David's. "Sorry, Seblems," he said passively, and switched his attention back to Nick. "That's what we call 'Sebastian Problems'," he explained, and Nick nodded.

"Clever. Why did you give me his solos?" he shot straight, not wanting to beat around the bush. He was met with a chorus of sighs. Leave it to the Warbler head council to do absolutely everything in unison.

"Because you needed to have them," Thad answered, and Nick shook his head.

"No."

"Yes," David countered poorly, giving Nick a desperate look. He sighed.

"Look, it's a nice sentiment, I'll admit, and I get that Sebastian doesn't really _deserve _any rewards right now," Nick started because he wouldn't be Nick if he didn't try to spare everyone's feelings, "But this just isn't going to go over well. Not even in the long run. Especially with you giving Jeff a duet with me. Sebastian probably already hates me on some level for always hanging out with Jeff, and… I don't want to be in the middle of them. I really don't." Wes rolled his eyes and put his hand up in the air to stop him and interrupt.

"No, look, we get that. This isn't about sticking you in between; this is about Jeff noticing you. You're definitely not going to get anywhere with this shy, quiet, best-friend-y roommate vibe going for you. You need some star power, and with the added benefit of the duet, we can _make_ Jeff take notice of it, even if he doesn't see the solo," he explained. A Grinch-like grin crept up on Thad's scheming face.

"Right, and we have other ideas, too," he continued. "Jeff is going to notice you love him and notice he loves you, and then when all that is through, he's going to notice he doesn't love Sebastian, and that he's basically the biggest asshole of all time, and that no one should touch him without washing their hands for fear of contamination. Seriously." Nick's scowl morphed into a smile as David took over.

"Yeah, dude. We've got this covered. After all, we're pretty much the most desirable men at Dalton," he said, earning an eye roll from Nick and a smile, "and therefore we can definitely help you get Jeff's fantastic body as your own." Okay, if that wasn't the most blush-inducing comment to ever happen, Nick wasn't sure what was. He felt his face heat up, and looked to his toes.

"Alright fine," he agreed. "Whatever it takes…"

"Brilliant, mate, you won't forget this!" Thad exclaimed excitedly. "Meet us back here tomorrow, right? We'll teach you all kinds of things!" Nick nodded and took the opportunity to exit the room. Gah. Just what the hell had he gotten himself into?

**Brilliant. Guys, I am just so tired today, and wrote this while talking to, like, nine people. So don't hate me if it's sort of disjointed. And I'm actually pretty happy that this all works out from Nick's point of view. It's pretty cool…**

**Also, I read this dialogue aloud, and it was really fun... Normally, it's just okay to read my dialogue, but this was just SO FUN and I don't know why (I do this for editing purposes. Please don't take that in a conceded way...)**


	6. Snips

**This story was originally going to be this whole Jeff!angst bucket, but it's morphed into something kinda more fun… Like… Yeah. I'm growing to like it more and more cause it's still all the Jeff!whump I can handle, but it also has this really adorable Nick that's I'm just having SUCH a fun time with and all the Warblers get to be cutesy little spazzes trying to help him out, and… I don't know. I'm having a good time. So there you have it. Now let's write some How To Get Jeff To Love You 101 class time!**

Nick headed back to the empty classroom the next day as instructed right after track practice. His legs burned in a good way, the I-just-ran-a-few-miles way. Despite a decent cool-down and a quick shower, he was still having trouble catching his breath, but Nick figured that probably had more to do with the nervousness about the upcoming lesson than his run. He paused outside the door to gather up some courage before stepping into the room. The second he did, he was uncomfortably conscious of the fellow Warblers packed in the room like sardines, but none of them held his attention for long. No…

Nick was hyperaware of the _girl_ standing in the middle of the room.

See, this is just another reason Nick hated being so quiet. There was a random Crawford chick standing in the middle of an all-boys school, and Nick knew for a fact that she wasn't allowed to be here. However, the room was crowded with people, and while Nick wasn't particularly shy –especially around the Warblers- he just couldn't seem to open his mouth to ask questions. The girl was staring at him, her uniform unbuttoned to reveal her too small, black bra petals. She had pulled her skirt up almost too high, so she probably couldn't bend over, and she had let her hair down, twirling a strand rather tantalizingly in her fingers.

God, why were Crawford girls so slutty?

Hold on… So that partially explained why all the Warblers had showed up for his little lesson, but Nick still didn't understand what she was doing in his school in the first place. Nick liked boys. He liked boys a whole lot. And even if he was bisexual or something along those lines, he was in love with Jeff, so the reasoning for this girl being here with her hooker heels and her cleavage out evaded him. Fortunately, it wasn't long before Wes sneaked up behind him and threw and arm around his shoulders.

"Nick," he said with no small amount of excitement. "This is Cindy. Wave to Cindy." Nick waved to Cindy. "She went to beauty school," he informed him, and for a second Nick was confused, but then Cindy pulled out a pair of pink barber shears, and he immediately understood. Before he could back out and run away, David had grabbed around his other side so he was flanked by two very, _very_ evil council members with no chance of escape. "We hate to tell you this, buddy, but your hair is just too long and –therefore- too 2000s. Cindy is going to fix this for you." The Crawford student nodded, leaning forward a bit and squishing her shoulders together to show off her boobs, as if to seduce him into getting his hair cut by a high schooler.

"I don't want to get my hair cut," he said, but his voice came out like it always did: soft and weak, and he wasn't listened to. No, instead he was placed down in a teacher's swivel chair and raised as high as the seat would allow. He bit his lip, and Cindy petted his head and declared she was going to cut his hair dry, sounding ditsier than he would have liked. She pulled her little pink scissors out again and moved to the back, the sound of her shears snipping absolutely sickening despite the cheers of his Warbler friends. He didn't think he looked that bad… "Wes…" he breathed, his voice a bit more tearful than he would have liked, but this sort of felt like a hazing gone bad.

"Don't worry, sweetie," Cindy told him, popping her gum and moving around towards his side and bending down over his head so her chest was unfortunately right in his face. This earned a whistle from Dean and the other less tactful boys in the show choir and a grimace from Nick. Admittedly, she was a very pretty girl, but Nick couldn't help but feel a bit uncomfortable with her basically giving herself over to him, especially when he didn't have any interest in her. Why did some girls feel the need to put out like this? "I'm just gonna Bieber-fy you a little bit. You'll love it."

Oh, God. No. This wasn't going to be okay. This whole thing was supposed to help him get Jeff to love him, not make the other boy feel like a pedophile if he ever did… Props to the Biebs and all, Nick could get behind him, he just didn't want to _look_ like him. Softly curled ringlets continued to fall around his feet, though, and soon there was a mirror in front of his face. Nick couldn't bear to look and shut his eyes.

"Dude, open up. You look _hot_," came Trent's voice from somewhere in front of him, but Nick didn't know if he could trust it. However, biting his lip, he thought about all the future looks at his reflection with this horrible haircut staring back and decided that maybe one peak wouldn't hurt him, if only to see the damage. Besides, closing his eyes wasn't just going to magically make it disappear. He blindly reached out for the mirror, holding it for himself before opening his eyes and-

Oh.

_Oh._

Nick held onto the mirror so tight, his knuckles burned white. His hair actually looked really, _really_ good. For all of Cindy's gum chewing and too-tight bra wearing, she turned out to actually have paid attention at beauty school because he actually maybe did look kind of, well… Maybe hot was too strong a word for a guy like Nick, but like… woah, there was his face, and it looked _good_. Not hidden like before. He threw the mirror away from him like it was poisoned, scared that what he saw was a lie, but by the creepy smiles his show choir mates had plastered onto their faces, it was apparent that he actually did look… well, not half bad. Wes clapped him on the shoulder.

"Why don't you thank Cindy, buddy?" he asked him, and Nick gulped before reaching out to shake the girl's hand.

"Thank you, Cindy."

His display of gratefulness was met by a round of applause and a peck on the cheek from the hairdresser herself that undoubtedly left a red lipstick print behind. He scrubbed at where she had kissed as Thad pulled him away babbling excitedly about the next part of the lesson. "Okay, now we're going to teach you how to work it…"

* * *

Nick didn't make it back to the dorm before dinner, which meant Jeff was going to have to get his first glimpse of Nick's new haircut in the dining hall, much to every Warbler's delight. They all had rushed down to the cafeteria early, seating themselves so Nick would have to sit directly across from Jeff at their table. He had been about to go with them, but David went off on a rant about him making an _entrance_ and how he had to stay behind. Whatever. All Nick knew was that this really had better go over well.

Exactly ten minutes into the meal, Nick opened the heavy wooden doors to the dining hall, flushing an alarming shade of red when literally every student in the school fell silent and turned to look at him aside from Jeff and Sebastian. They, obviously, hadn't gotten the memo… _Why, David? Why would you do this to me?_

It took about two seconds for Jeff to realize that everyone was looking at something and about one second after that for his eyes to fall on Nick. In that time span, Nick had managed to force down the blush on his cheeks and put his body in the position Thad had taught him to. It felt weird to stand up straight and not look at the floor as he stood there under the gaze of the entire student body, but Sebastian probably wouldn't have done that, so he figured that he was definitely doing something right. He did manage to get Jeff after all…

Nick watched coolly as Jeff's eyes bugged out of his head. The blonde jumped up, and it was clear to Nick by Sebastian's scowl that he had forgotten his place in his relationship. Within a few more key seconds, his roommate was at his side, fussing with his hair. "Nicky, you look so good!" he exclaimed despite the silence of the cafeteria, and Nick caught even the nerdiest of freshmen smiling at the comment. Did everyone know? Actually everyone? Jeff held his face in his hands. "I love your new haircut! It's like we can really see you!" he said excitedly, beaming, bringing their noses together, and scrunching his up while momentarily closing his eyes. A warm feeling rushed through Nick for a minute because this was who Jeff was supposed to be, and this was the Jeff he had fallen in love with –who acted more like a little boy than anything else and touched without caring.

"Yay," he said, his tone a bit too watery for the word. Whatever, he was just stunned, and he hated talking when people were listening. Jeff pulled away and grabbed his hands, and Nick wondered if he realized that everyone was watching them instead of turning back to their meals or not. Probably not. Jeff wasn't that perceptive…

"Is that why you were late for dinner?" he asked curiously. "I was waiting for you, and you didn't come…" he said awkwardly, and Nick felt a mini pang of guilt. Jeff seemed fine and whatever, but Nick always felt bad when Jeff wanted to be with him and he wasn't there. Nick tried to be around for Jeff as much as possible, but that probably had more to do with him wanting to spend time together than anything else. Jeff… Jeff and his blonde hair, and his stupid laugh, and his tap dancing in the rain, and his skinny, skinny, skinny body that he was constantly filling up but never got filled out… It made it so much worse that Nick couldn't hate him; he could only hate himself for loving him…

"Yeah… The whole hair thing and all…" he said vaguely because he didn't want to lie. Jeff wasn't the only one who was bad at it. They stood there for a split second with their hands together, Nick a little too happy in the moment, before fricking Sebastian and his fricking sneer on his fricking meerkat face had to come up and fricking ruin everything.

"Who's this, Jeffie?" Sebastian asked, slinking an arm around Jeff's shoulder, and Nick watched as the blonde folded in on himself instantly. Jeff seemed so small around Sebastian… Jeff rubbed his arm awkwardly, like all of a sudden he realized he was being watched. It was probably the tension in the room that did it, all the other boys staring daggers in Sebastian's oblivious direction. Nick even caught a lunch lady or two glaring. Maybe everyone _did_ know…

"This is Nick, Sebastian," Jeff answered, and despite all the patience laced between the words, Nick could tell Jeff was a bit exasperated. "You know him. You know Nick," Jeff explained a bit desperately, and Sebastian squinted at Nick for a minute –much to his own displeasure- before suddenly spinning Jeff out behind him, stepping forward and crossing his arms "intimidatingly" at him.

"You're the kid who stole my solos," Sebastian huffed, and Nick didn't know what made him do it. It could have been the way Sebastian threw Jeff away from him, it could have been how he had forgotten who he was _again_, it could have been the blatant piece of proof that Sebastian didn't listen to a word Jeff said or give a damn about who he lived with, it could have even been how Sebastian had used _his_ name for Jeff, or a combination of all four, or maybe something else entirely, but Nick _snapped_.

"No. No, I'm not 'the kid who stole your solos'. My name is Nick. _Nick_. And I didn't _steal_ anything from you. I _earned_ it because, unlike you, I don't spend all of practice raping my boyfriend as he tries to squirm away while I _should be_ singing. I mean, I'm pretty sure you're lucky you got _one _because while you probably think you're naturally perfect, your voice does, in fact, need work like everyone else's. The laws of vocal chords don't excuse you just because you've got a big head, so get over yourself, and maybe next time you'll actually do well," Nick took a breath and lowered his voice, suddenly remembering that he was supposed to be quiet and that he wasn't supposed to be good at this kind of thing, especially when other people were watching. His eyes flickered over to his roommate. "Sorry, buddy, but we all know you don't like it when he kisses you during our meetings…" Jeff looked distressed.

"It's just… It's just a PDA thing… Oh, God, Nicky, please stop," Jeff begged, tears streaming down his face. "Not when people can hear. Oh, God…" Jeff looked like he might have kept talking, but Sebastian had already grabbed his arm and shoved him in front of him, roughly pushing him out the cafeteria doors.

"Let's go, Jeff," Sebastian snapped, and suddenly Nick felt like he had done something unspeakably wrong by calling Sebastian out. The other boy left the room, and no one applauded like they do in the movies, they just turned and gossiped like a bunch of schoolgirls, poorly concealing their whispers behind the very distinct hand of a prep school boy. Nick just looked at the still filled dinner plate at Jeff's spot and decided that he didn't feel much like eating anything either despite the congratulations of all his friends.

**Oh my gosh, I just… I love writing mean Sebastian. Like, every time I think about it, I feel horribly guilty because I totally and honestly believe that Sebastian just needs someone to teach him how to love because his dad wasn't a help to him in that respect, if you catch my gist, but like… THIS IS JUST SO FUN. It would have been fun with any abusive character, though…**

**Also, I'm having a lot of fun with this Nick. Why is it that Nick can be whatever you want him to be, while Jeff kind of has a fixed character?**


	7. Hours Apart

**AGH! I WROTE THIS BEFORE I WENT AWAY AND DIDN'T REALIZE I NEVER POSTED! SO SORRY!**

Nick felt increasingly guilty that night as he struggled through his homework after his failure at dinner. He was supposed to make Jeff love him, not make him cry by yelling at his boyfriend and dragging the darker parts of their relationship issues out for the entire school to hear. He was mad at Sebastian, not Jeff, so he shouldn't have called the blonde out like he did. That hadn't been fair of him, and his English homework –a poem centered on how he was feeling- was not helping matters at all. He couldn't seem to write down two stanzas that wouldn't get him sent immediately to guidance.

Hours ticked by and eventually Nick ran out of homework to procrastinate his English assignment with. He chewed on the eraser of his pencil and glared down at the empty page in front of him, checking the clock every few seconds and growing more and more concerned as the hour got later and later and Jeff still wasn't home.

_Home_.

God, that word made them sound like they were an old married couple or something. Of course, now Nick was thinking of him and Jeff all grown up with a tiny house. The Duvals and the Sterlings weren't unfamiliar with big, stately homes, but Nick was hoping Jeff wouldn't mind moving into someplace really small, maybe by a lake or something with a lot of land. He wanted a house that was so puny that, even if they were in different rooms, neither of them would actually be alone. If they ever got into a fight, though naturally they never would, they could just take a walk and soak in the sunset, or the water, or the woods and forget why they ever got mad in the first place. Of course, that plan was made slightly difficult due to the fact that he and Jeff were not married, and with the stunt he pulled to day, they might never be.

Nick muddled through his English homework by scribbling down some absolute _shit_ about the frustrations of remaining strong –not that Nick would know anything about that. One look at Jeff and Sebastian and he pretty much fell apart instantly. Nick flung himself onto his mattress and stared at the ceiling, unable to sleep and waiting for Jeff.

* * *

Jeff didn't come home that evening, and Nick was worried. Actually, no, he had been _worried_ at lights out when Jeff still wasn't back. He had been panicked at two in the morning when there was still no sign of Jeff. He hadn't felt anything at two thirty because he had been practically comatose; a boy needs his sleep. He had woken up at six in an absolute fright, especially when he noticed that Jeff's teddy bear hadn't moved from its upside-down position on the floorboards. Now it was breakfast, and Nick couldn't help but notice that neither Jeff nor Sebastian had managed to make it down to the cafeteria.

Maybe "terrified" would be a better word.

Nick couldn't help but look morosely at his pancakes, thinking about how much more appetizing they'd be if Jeff had been there to eat them with him. He didn't even look up when Trent slammed his tray down in front of him. The other boy hummed around a piece of toast. "You know? I almost didn't recognize you without all that hair of yours," he said, moving to ruffle his bangs, but Nick pulled away before he got the chance.

"Only Jeff can touch it," he said miserably, eyes darting around the dining hall just to make sure he hadn't managed to miss him come in and sit somewhere else or something. Trent looked up from his fruit cup, cantaloupe halfway to his mouth as he looked around for a second.

"Wait a second, where _is_ Jeff?" he questioned, and Nick didn't mean to, but he glared at the other boy. Trent only laughed. "So I'm guessing you don't know either?" Nick's shoulders sank.

"He didn't come home last night," he admitted quietly, "and I'm getting really worried. Especially cause I haven't seen him _or_ Sebastian since they left dinner yesterday, and I hate to think about what might have happened…" Nick really did hate to think about it. He didn't want _anyone_ pushing Jeff into _anything_, and he didn't want anyone keeping them apart either. However, the longer his roommate's relationship dragged on, the more Nick was certain that Sebastian was doing just that. He sucked down some milk, while Trent squirmed across from him.

"Well, if it helps, I don't think I heard anything out of the usual from them last night, but I didn't get back to my dorm until way late cause David was tutoring me in Spanish…" Nick groaned and slammed his head down on the table. He brought it back up just in time to catch Jeff slip in the cafeteria, being dragged by a very smug looking Sebastian.

His heart broke.

Sometimes, Nick felt like he was the only one who could see how much Jeff was falling apart. Today? Today he felt like even the blind would be able to see it. He looked _awful_, and –despite the immobilizing anger that washed over him as Sebastian abandoned the blonde to hop in the breakfast line- Nick leapt up and sprinted over to his best friend. Up close like this, he could see the unshed tears welled up in his friend's eyes, and the tracks of the ones that _had_ fallen on his cheeks. Jeff's hair was slightly mussed up, something completely unheard of, and Nick really didn't like how one side of his face seemed slightly purpler than the other. A faint bruise. He grabbed the blonde's shoulders to get his attention. "Girls' bathroom?" he asked before Jeff had really even noticed he was standing in front of him. He watched, soul bleeding, as Jeff shook his head and pressed his lips together, face crumbling.

"D-don't touch me," he replied, a sob slipping through his lips. Nick couldn't help but comply, herding Jeff in front of him so only he felt the eyes on the back of his neck. People could stare at him. They couldn't stare at Jeff. He shepherded him out of the cafeteria and up to the dorms because some conversations just weren't made to be had while standing in a public bathroom.

"Jeff, buddy, you have to talk to me, okay?" Nick asked as soon as they stepped into their room, panicking as Jeff fell face first onto his bed and the hem of his shirt lifted to reveal blossoming bruises and –shit- bite marks. The injured boy sobbed into his pillow.

"Just go away, Nicky."

It has been said a thousand times that people are only good at seeing what they want to see. So maybe that's why he did it. Or maybe it had something more to do with how Nick really couldn't miss another math class. Maybe it was because Nick didn't think he could handle it. All he knew was that he left Jeff alone. And he'd been regretting it ever since.

**Sorry, sorry, sorry!**


	8. Steps To Clearing The Air

**I seriously have grown to hate computers. And I legitimately don't understand why I don't have mine back yet. It's been torn from me all summer, and it sucks so hard, I can't even… Ugh. **

**Anyway.**

**I just… seriously felt like angsting the heck out of something, and decided that it was about time to write a new chapter of this. And then I'll probably write "Love Taps", even though I honestly don't want to. I seriously hate multi-chapters. I'm definitely not writing them anymore after this. Just tons upon tons of long one-shots, as those make me happy and don't suck the life out of me. #TrueStory. **

**This chapter is funky, but not in a bad way. It's just... it's broken up. You'll see.**

"Wait, shit, are you serious?" Trent badgered him after class, and Nick felt a little guilty. It really wasn't his business to be telling anybody else about Jeff's problems, but Trent had been worried for good reason, and it also didn't seem too fair to let him simmer in the dark. Nick bit his lip and nodded, and Trent let out a puff of air. "That's messed up…" he said after a moment, leaving Nick to flop back on the other boy's bed and groan into his pillow.

"And I just _left_," he moaned. Trent contemplated this for a second.

"Well, he did _tell_ you to. Maybe he just needed some time alone to process," the sassy Warbler replied, but Nick didn't feel comforted. Jeff was his… He was his _Jeff_. They were always together, they always _wanted_ to be together, so why would Jeff want to be alone? _Especially_ when he was upset? It didn't make any sense to Nick, and Trent seemed to pick up on that. "I think it's time you had another lesson," he said after a moment, and Nick pulled the pillow just far enough away from his face to glare at him.

"What kind of lesson do you have in mind?" he asked grumpily, but Trent's lips were sealed.

"You'll see," he told him airily, pulling out his phone to send out a mass-text. Nick buried his face in the pillow again.

* * *

"This is kind of small for a 'lesson'," Nick pointed out. Last time near all the Warblers had been present to put in input on his walk, posture, hair, expressions, personality, existence… Now he was faced with only the head council and Trent. Wes frowned.

"We didn't think it would be right to air out all of Jeff's business in front of the rest of the club," he informed him, and Nick couldn't help but to agree. "Besides, this is a serious matter, and serious things go over better when shared between a few people who really care," he said matter-of-factly, and Trent snorted and rolled his eyes in response.

"Pull that out of a fortune cookie?" he asked moodily, and Wes threw a dusty old pen from the desk he was sitting on at him, resulting in a whine from Trent. "That wasn't very serious!" he complained, but Wes just stuck his tongue out.

"You aren't very serious," he bit back, and David got between the two.

"Alright, seriously, guys. Enough. We're here to talk about Jeff not be stupid," he reprimanded them. The two boys let out equally frustrated huffs but complied, David taking control of the conversation. "Nick, we wanna talk to you about how you should be later with Jeff. Because you do have to go back to your room when this is over." Nick let his eyebrows notch together.

"Um… No offense, but I've been taking care of crying Jeffs since he and _Sebastian_," he couldn't help but spit the name, "got together." Wes rolled his eyes.

"Yeah? And now he's knocking down your door to ask you out, then, huh?" he asked, and Nick immediately quieted. "Look, we know that you're really good at taking care of Jeff and talking him through stuff. And we know that you two don't shy away from being close and touching and stuff. However. You need to step up your game. Not to use Jeff's obvious sadness to his advantage, but you're about to get the chance at something intimate. So use it." Nick made a disgusted noise.

"I'm not doing that," he replied, and Thad got up from the desk he was sitting in.

"Why not, Nickpea?" he asked, placing a hand on Nick's lower back and leaning down close to him, practically whispering the words in his ear. Nick flinched away from the touch and the hot breath on his neck.

"First of all, that's Jeff's name for me," he said, and Thad scoffed. "And second, _because it's creepy_," he told him angrily, and Wes jumped up.

"It's not going to be creepy when it's you and Jeff!" he exclaimed, walking over to David and curling into his side. Wes's hand crept up to cup David's jaw, and David grabbed Wes's wrist in response. They're eyes locked for a second before Wes broke all contact with the boy in favor of sneering at Nick. "See? It's not creepy when it's me and David! And you guys are _gay_. We're _straight_. If we can do it, then you so can, too!" Nick crossed his arms, but no one paid him any attention. Wevid and Trad were too busy cuddling to prove their point to give him any mind. Nick sighed and left the room.

* * *

"Jeff?" Nick called out quietly, awkwardly walking into the dorm with a tray in his arms. How he managed to unlock the door without spilling either of the cups of tea was beyond him. "I brought tea for you," he said as softly as he could. The room was dark, and he couldn't see Jeff's face. It was like he hadn't moved at all since Nick had left him that morning. His heart broke. He took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of Jeff's bed, placing the cafeteria tray on his own. "You're not okay." Jeff sniffed.

"No, Nicky… I'm not…" He sounded broken. It made Nick feel broken, too. He thought back to his lesson earlier and steeled himself. Nick fell down next to Jeff, wrapping an arm around the smallest part of his back, and tangling his free fingers through his hair.

Jeff _flipped_.

One second he had just been lying there –unmoving- like he had been all day, and then next his whole body had practically contorted as he threw himself off of the mattress. "Shit, Jeff, _what-_"

"Don't _touch me_," he yelped, cutting Nick off. "God, you can't just… you can't just _touch me_ like that without _warning_. D-don't… don't…" Jeff melted into a puddle of tears and Nick stepped back from him. Sebastian had done something wrong.

Sebastian had done something very wrong indeed.

**I'm really down to the wire to when I told you everything would be updated. Haha, *sheepish smile* whoops. BUT I'M STILL GONNA DO IT, SO NO WORRIES! ONE UPDATE DONE, TWO TO GO. **

**Also.**

**Would any of you be interested in some 1D fanfic? Cause… I just, like, wrote up some friendship oneshots last night for no real reason other than to avoid doing everything else that I was supposed to, so… Yeah. **

**I can post that if you want.**


	9. Dirty Words

**Mwahaha! Guess who has their computer back! ME! Mwahahaha! The only problem is, that now everything is not to my specific settings so I keep finding all of these unhappy things I need to fix…**

**Guys. I have so much work I should be doing. Like… Reading Stokesbury. And prepping my backpack. And picking an outfit. But I'm not doing any of that currently. I'm writing. FOR YOU. YAY!**

**Let's get angsty up in here, shall we? **

Nick stormed down the hallway. He was exhausted, and angry, and maybe a little bit scared, though he definitely wouldn't admit to it, and every part of him _hurt_ because he _hated_ seeing Jeff cry, and he _hated_ not being able to do anything about it, and this whole day had basically sucked, and Nick was determined to get to the bottom of this before

"Sebastian?! Open up," Nick called through the closed door, practically pounding it down, he was knocking so hard. The loud hammering had boys stepping out of their dorms, and Nick could feel their eyes on him as the guy with the crush confronted the guy with the boy. Sebastian cracked his door open, glaring with his eyes like slits. Nick had to suppress a scoff at the sight of his face. Sometimes he forgot how much he hated Sebastian.

"What." The asshole practically _spat_ the word, not bothering to make it sound like a question, just using it as way to show his annoyance due to being disturbed, and it took all of Nick's will power not to lunge at his throat. He let his hands twist into fists.

"What did you do to Jeff?" he questioned. Nick had spent two hours trying to comfort the blonde without _touching_ and, God, that was _hard_. His words just felt like that. Words. Like they weren't helping, like they weren't _showing_ and now Nick was _mad_. He was _mad_ at Sebastian for hurting Jeff, he was mad at his friends for giving him bad advice, and he was mad at _himself_ for letting this go on as long as it had. Sebastian arched his eyebrows condescendingly and crinkled his nose a bit.

"Nothing. Now leave me alone," he answered, trying to shut him out, but Nick stuck his foot in the door. He glared back at the taller boy for a second before kicking his way in. All those laps around the track had given him fantastic lower body strength. Sebastian's eyes widened before a sneer took over his face. "Seriously? What's your problem?" Nick stepped into the dorm.

"_What did you do to Jeff?_" he questioned again, ignoring Sebastian's protests.

"I told you! _Nothing_. Now freaking relax, alright? I have a paper to type," he told him, and Nick could sense the heads of the other boys on the floor peeking into Sebastian's room, but he didn't care if they saw him blow up. This was about Jeff, it was all about Jeff, it was _always about Jeff_. Not him. So let people see what they wanted. As long as it didn't embarrass his roommate or hurt him in anyway, Nick didn't care.

"Except it _wasn't_ nothing, and you _know_ it wasn't nothing, and you are going to tell me exactly what I have to deal with because this is _serious_, Sebastian." The older boy seemed angry and looked like he was about to snap back, but a guilty look washed over his face before he could respond. Nick's fuming subsided when Sebastian broke eye contact and looked to the floor ashamed. Dread pooled in the pit of his stomach.

"It… It was just sex…" he muttered so quietly that Nick had to strain to hear him and the observers in the hallway definitely couldn't have picked it up at all.

And Nick's heart stopped.

_Shit_.

Nick turned away quickly, unable to look at Sebastian, and gasped for air. He brought a hand up to cover his mouth and felt tears on his cheeks. When had that happened? He bit his lip hard enough to make it bleed and lashed out at nothing, frustrated and angry and worried and upset. He took a breath. "You don't get to see him again," he told him, voice cracking on every word, and Nick turned to go, Sebastian calling out after him.

"Yeah, except you don't get to keep my boyfriend away from me," he pointed out, and Nick didn't even turn around.

"Jeff's not your boyfriend anymore. Consider yourself broken up with," he shouted behind him, not bothering to turn his head. He'd probably throw up if he looked at Sebastian right now. He more kicked his way down the hallway than walked, a thousand dirty words rolling through his mind that he didn't want to associate with Jeff, but they just seemed fitting. Words like "rape" and "victim" and "nonconsensual". Nick stopped outside of his room, trying to catch a breath and sweeping away a few remaining stray tears before straightening his uniform and re-entering the room.

**Wah. This should have been connected to last chapter. DX Sorry. **

**OH MY GOSH. GUYS. I'M MEETING FREAKING RIKER LYNCH. LIKE… SOON. ON SEPTEMBER 8****TH****. LIKE… JUST MEETING HIM. AND GETTING A PICTURE WITH HIM. AND A SIGNED POSTER. AND WATCHING HIM PERFORM. AND GETTING AN R5 T-SHIRT, AND I'M SO HAPPY, I SERIOUSLY CRY OVER IT EVERYDAY. A;SJDF;AKSDJF;LKASDJF HOLY CRAP.**


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